So my fresh out of college self ran out of money a little while ago, and had to move back in with mommy. For a while it was wonderful, as things are. I had a free place, I got to see my mom and my younger siblings all the time, I got to play with my puppies... And then things started to wear on me. My work is so far away, my friends are so far away, I spend more time driving in a week than I do sleeping, I would rather pay rent than have to fill up my 16 freeking gallon tank every week... And so I started a housing hunt.
When this began, I was Assistant Stage Managing a show in DC, so the commute would have been about the same even if I did live where I wanted rather than at home. But now I'm working at a box office, which is awesome and I love it, I know everyone who works there and I'm learning the system and everything like that, but it is still at least a 30 minute drive from the second I put the car in drive to when I pull into a space. Which for a job that's paying $8.50 an hour, thats a metric fuck ton of driving.
In between working in DC and working at the box, I worked at an Acting Summer Camp for kids, Acting for Young People, which is legitimately the most amazing place I've ever worked, I'm not even kidding. I have the best boss ever, and the most awesome co-workers, and then there's the gratification of getting to teach kids and having them learn things and see a product... It's just so incredible, if you have kids you should look it up and try it out because, and this isn't just me as an employee saying this, we do some awesome work. But I digress out of commercial mode, so while I was working there I was doing the same commute that I am now, except at 7:30/8:00 in the morning, 495 is a whole different beast than it is at 9:00. I was driving for at least 45 minutes if not an hour every morning to get to work. Now, some people may be like "oh that's nothing, I commute from Mannassas to North East DC every day" but for me, driving an hour in rush hour is just ... oh what's the word... infuriating? disgusting? those and several other adjectives could probably all fit.
So a few weeks ago, a friend and former roommate of mine, told me about a room in her townhouse that was becoming available and asked if I would be interested. Uh, YEAH. So I like found out all the details and started figuring out my budget and all of that, and I can totally swing this place with money left over for gas and groceries and student loans and all that crap. So I sign the lease and set it all up to move in about halfway through the month, figure that'll give me plenty of time to get all my stuff together and tell Mom I'm leaving.
And of course disaster strikes.
My grandma decides that it's time for her and my granddad to move out of the home they've lived in for 40 years to an apartment. My mom, who's already involved with at least two plays at two different theaters, and has a recently new job as an administrative assistant, is the closest in proximity out of my grandma's kids. We live literally around the corner, so obviously the task falls upon us to help her start the moving process. Lemme tell ya, this has been the most stressful, bruise filled, injury laden few weeks. My aunt and uncle came into town finally to help us out, thank God. So the second we've got everything out of the house and sorted into the apartment, donations, and trash, and everyone goes back home, and we've had the house to normal for a minute, I tell mom that I'm gonna move.
Now of course I don't just say "Mom, I've found a place to live, and I'm gonna move out." If only I had...
Something about the way I worded it, and the way that the words went from my brain, out my lips and into Mom's mind, she conjured up some sort of doubt that I would move out. That I wouldn't really go, that I wanted to move out in order to help her and my siblings sell our house and move on with their lives, that if she told me how much (she thinks) she needs me that I would stay.
Now I'm in quite the pickle. Because in all my years of theater training and plays and gossip, I've never come across a situation quite as confounded as the one I've put myself into. I've talked with both my best friends about how to say things, and the actor in me seems to have a great ability to create a monologue, but a intense fear of performing it in front of her audience. I can rehearse and reason my way from here to China and back, I could probably write, choreograph and perform a broadway musical number for it as long as Mom wasn't in the audience. but I have no guarantee that I'll actually get myself to say simply what I want to. It wouldn't be hard. I've written out exactly what I want to say twice, two different ways, and thought through it so many more times... I just can't seem to get the courage to say "screw timing, I need to do this now."
About five months ago, when I first realized I would be needing to move in with Mom, I was dating this one guy, and everything was awesome but I was so afraid that when I moved, I would lose him. Since then a LOT has happened, but I turned out being right. Granted, moving wasn't the only reason that we ended up breaking up, but still. I have this really bad habit of once I get something in my head, or I decide I'm going to do it, nothing can stop me. And that's how it is now. But I've never had to explain to someone WHY I want to do what I've decided I'm going to do. And I'm so afraid that if I don't fix it soon, I'm going to end up absolutely, completely and utterly, screwed.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
oh sweet baby jesus you're an idiot
Have you ever met someone and your first thought was "oh god, how are you even alive?"
The most recent person on my "Holy crap, you are an IDIOT" list is my run crew for this show I'm ASMing. This boy is a sophomore in college, grew up around the area that I did, and seems like a pretty nice and decent kid. Until you realize, he legit has no fucking brain.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love actors. I was an actor for a long time and still dabble from time to time. But an actor who has never done anything backstage is an idiot. And an actor who is a drama queen and has never done anything backstage or tech related can kiss my ass, but I digress. This dim witted half brain who is my run crew is an actor, and is studying acting at a college that is not known for their theater program (good choice there dude.) And I honestly don't know how he can even be an actor because this kid is SO DUMB. He can't remember anything, he is the klutziest person i've ever met, and that's saying something cause that means he beats me (and i tripped up the stairs not even three days ago). I taught this kid how to dry mop a stage, which isn't that hard, I picked it up within 10 minutes of being taught. If you don't know how to dry mop, basically you get a mop wet and then you squeeze all of the water out of it. And then when you think you can't squeeze any more, you give it another wring. And then you mop, and the floor is dry by the time you're done mopping and then actors don't have to play on a wet stage and stuff.
I showed him how to wring out the mop, and he seemed to get that okay, but this kid takes like 30 minutes to sweep the stage. It's probably maybe a 40 foot stage, including the backstage area. And he's got a big push broom. It would take me like 10 minutes tops, and that's if I was carrying on an in-depth conversation while sweeping. But so I show him how to mop, not bad he's got the motions down, but it takes him another 20 minutes... really? This shouldn't be this hard.
I came late the other day cause I got stuck in traffic and womp womp stuff like that, I'm half an hour late right, and this kid has had two weeks to perfect this sweeping and mopping thing. And once we sweep and mop, we set up stage and put out props, not too tough sounding right? Like if you had two people you could knock it out in about 30 minutes, especially after two weeks of the same thing? I get there 30 minutes late and he's like "Oh, hi! So I got everything done except the props." This kid had the light op (THE LIGHT OP!) help him sweep and mop and then to set the stage, he put out a stool. Like a three legged, maybe two foot tall, stool. YAY! It took you and the board op 30 minutes to sweep, mop, and put out a STOOL. I'M SO PROUD.
But because I can't just speak my mind like that, I say "cool" and proceed to prepare all the props for the show. Easiest thing in the world. You literally take each thing out of the milk crate and put it on the table. The actors know what they need and they check them before hand and put them where they want them, easiest job in the whole line up, it took me all of maybe two minutes tops, and I think that was with a potty break.
So the show goes up without a hitch, scenery is transitioned pretty okay, props are all in order, actors are fantastic and make me not mind that they get all the credit for my injuries and low pay. And we're standing backstage waiting for one scene to end so we can transition out of it and into the next. The wings are pretty big for what i'm used to, I mean, we fit like ten million pieces of furniture behind the set, and there's at least 4 feet on either side of it, which is covered up by curtains. I'm standing directly behind a leg, fidgeting with my feet, but making no noise, cause I'm in ASM mode. This kid is standing behind me, near the wall that has a run light on it. We don't use the run light during this set of shows cause we don't need it, the cord gets in the way and all that, but it's a run light, it's kinda big, shiny metal, hooked onto a pipe that's on the wall, not that hard to miss. The kid has his hands on his head, elbows out, and is spinning his upper body back and forth. I guess it's fidgeting? I honestly don't know. But half wit somehow manages to almost knock the run light off of the pipe, because he's swinging his big stupid boy elbows all over the place.
Seriously, how do you do that? All of the actors backstage looked at him like "what the fuck are you doing bro?" cause they're just standing backstage, occasionally stretching, but doing their own little quiet get into character thing, and this boy, who's barely bigger than me comes backstage, elbows blazing, and knocks them out of focus. I looked at him and whispered "shhh, be aware of your surroundings!" and went back to listening to the scene.
I wish this was the first and last thing he'd done. He ripped a hole in the projection screens that we have for walls, he dropped a fucking SEE SAW on me and couldn't figure out that if you push down on one side, the other side goes up, he made me look like a fool, walking back on from offstage on the wrong side of the stage because he couldn't figure out that when you come running on stage you should grab the chairs that are supposed to be transitioned out, he almost took out three audience members because he forgot how we were supposed to carry the see saw on and off the stage, he knocked juice all over my prompt book and the floor. And today he walked into me, straight up walked into me. He was behind me, watching me roll a log off the stage and then I turned around to page a curtain down and he walked into the side of me. How do you even do that? So he's messed up 7 times that I've accounted for here and above. We've had 8 shows. Three of those count as tech days.
I just don't get it. And I can't figure out how he turned out this way. I mean, like actors can do some silly things, but if it was stupid they apologize and they don't do it again. This kid doesn't even do that. I yelled at him once, I didn't raise my voice (well, cause we were backstage) but I used a harsh tone, and that is very rare for me to do. I'm usually just sassy or snippy. But I was harsh, and mean. And he still continuously messes up SOMETHING. Maybe he got dropped on his head? I tried feeling sorry for him, because he obviously must have run out of his medication or something, but I just can't. I have thought about asking my boss to fire him, but that would mean I'd have to carry a couch and a see saw and a bed all by myself. And that would just look sad.
Thank you so much, internet thing, for listening to my rant. I feel so much better now. Hopefully I don't smack him after tomorrow's show.. only six more shows left. Five more days. I hope I make it.
The most recent person on my "Holy crap, you are an IDIOT" list is my run crew for this show I'm ASMing. This boy is a sophomore in college, grew up around the area that I did, and seems like a pretty nice and decent kid. Until you realize, he legit has no fucking brain.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love actors. I was an actor for a long time and still dabble from time to time. But an actor who has never done anything backstage is an idiot. And an actor who is a drama queen and has never done anything backstage or tech related can kiss my ass, but I digress. This dim witted half brain who is my run crew is an actor, and is studying acting at a college that is not known for their theater program (good choice there dude.) And I honestly don't know how he can even be an actor because this kid is SO DUMB. He can't remember anything, he is the klutziest person i've ever met, and that's saying something cause that means he beats me (and i tripped up the stairs not even three days ago). I taught this kid how to dry mop a stage, which isn't that hard, I picked it up within 10 minutes of being taught. If you don't know how to dry mop, basically you get a mop wet and then you squeeze all of the water out of it. And then when you think you can't squeeze any more, you give it another wring. And then you mop, and the floor is dry by the time you're done mopping and then actors don't have to play on a wet stage and stuff.
I showed him how to wring out the mop, and he seemed to get that okay, but this kid takes like 30 minutes to sweep the stage. It's probably maybe a 40 foot stage, including the backstage area. And he's got a big push broom. It would take me like 10 minutes tops, and that's if I was carrying on an in-depth conversation while sweeping. But so I show him how to mop, not bad he's got the motions down, but it takes him another 20 minutes... really? This shouldn't be this hard.
I came late the other day cause I got stuck in traffic and womp womp stuff like that, I'm half an hour late right, and this kid has had two weeks to perfect this sweeping and mopping thing. And once we sweep and mop, we set up stage and put out props, not too tough sounding right? Like if you had two people you could knock it out in about 30 minutes, especially after two weeks of the same thing? I get there 30 minutes late and he's like "Oh, hi! So I got everything done except the props." This kid had the light op (THE LIGHT OP!) help him sweep and mop and then to set the stage, he put out a stool. Like a three legged, maybe two foot tall, stool. YAY! It took you and the board op 30 minutes to sweep, mop, and put out a STOOL. I'M SO PROUD.
But because I can't just speak my mind like that, I say "cool" and proceed to prepare all the props for the show. Easiest thing in the world. You literally take each thing out of the milk crate and put it on the table. The actors know what they need and they check them before hand and put them where they want them, easiest job in the whole line up, it took me all of maybe two minutes tops, and I think that was with a potty break.
So the show goes up without a hitch, scenery is transitioned pretty okay, props are all in order, actors are fantastic and make me not mind that they get all the credit for my injuries and low pay. And we're standing backstage waiting for one scene to end so we can transition out of it and into the next. The wings are pretty big for what i'm used to, I mean, we fit like ten million pieces of furniture behind the set, and there's at least 4 feet on either side of it, which is covered up by curtains. I'm standing directly behind a leg, fidgeting with my feet, but making no noise, cause I'm in ASM mode. This kid is standing behind me, near the wall that has a run light on it. We don't use the run light during this set of shows cause we don't need it, the cord gets in the way and all that, but it's a run light, it's kinda big, shiny metal, hooked onto a pipe that's on the wall, not that hard to miss. The kid has his hands on his head, elbows out, and is spinning his upper body back and forth. I guess it's fidgeting? I honestly don't know. But half wit somehow manages to almost knock the run light off of the pipe, because he's swinging his big stupid boy elbows all over the place.
Seriously, how do you do that? All of the actors backstage looked at him like "what the fuck are you doing bro?" cause they're just standing backstage, occasionally stretching, but doing their own little quiet get into character thing, and this boy, who's barely bigger than me comes backstage, elbows blazing, and knocks them out of focus. I looked at him and whispered "shhh, be aware of your surroundings!" and went back to listening to the scene.
I wish this was the first and last thing he'd done. He ripped a hole in the projection screens that we have for walls, he dropped a fucking SEE SAW on me and couldn't figure out that if you push down on one side, the other side goes up, he made me look like a fool, walking back on from offstage on the wrong side of the stage because he couldn't figure out that when you come running on stage you should grab the chairs that are supposed to be transitioned out, he almost took out three audience members because he forgot how we were supposed to carry the see saw on and off the stage, he knocked juice all over my prompt book and the floor. And today he walked into me, straight up walked into me. He was behind me, watching me roll a log off the stage and then I turned around to page a curtain down and he walked into the side of me. How do you even do that? So he's messed up 7 times that I've accounted for here and above. We've had 8 shows. Three of those count as tech days.
I just don't get it. And I can't figure out how he turned out this way. I mean, like actors can do some silly things, but if it was stupid they apologize and they don't do it again. This kid doesn't even do that. I yelled at him once, I didn't raise my voice (well, cause we were backstage) but I used a harsh tone, and that is very rare for me to do. I'm usually just sassy or snippy. But I was harsh, and mean. And he still continuously messes up SOMETHING. Maybe he got dropped on his head? I tried feeling sorry for him, because he obviously must have run out of his medication or something, but I just can't. I have thought about asking my boss to fire him, but that would mean I'd have to carry a couch and a see saw and a bed all by myself. And that would just look sad.
Thank you so much, internet thing, for listening to my rant. I feel so much better now. Hopefully I don't smack him after tomorrow's show.. only six more shows left. Five more days. I hope I make it.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
moving sucks
So I just graduated from college.
Like just over a week ago.
And I've already moved every single one of my belongings from the house I shared with 5 other wonderful people to my Mom's house...
It's really weird. I mean, it's going to be nice to not have to pay rent for a little while, but it's weird that I have to go from living basically on my own to living under my Mom's roof with my siblings again.
It's really all because of my back, in the long run at least. Because if my back wasn't so horrible then I could have worked more and made more money... and if I had worked more then I might have had enough money to stay where I was for longer... But that's theater for you I guess. When you most need money, you have the hardest time getting it.
I'm going to be an ASM for Source Festival in DC this summer and i'm really excited, but my back has been killing me from all the moving.. I mean, it's not as bad as it was like a couple months ago, but think about having to move 6 truck loads of stuff including a queen sized bed, dresser, several other heavy items, and the ten million articles of clothing I own, with a constant ache and sometimes stabbing pain in your lower spine... It's wonderful. Absolutely delighting. But as it relates to Source, I'm afraid that if my back gets really bad again, I'm going to have to quit or something and lose a much needed paycheck. :/
My degree seems to be doing me no good so far... But I suppose anything is better than spending a summer without any work like I did last year... maybe
Like just over a week ago.
And I've already moved every single one of my belongings from the house I shared with 5 other wonderful people to my Mom's house...
It's really weird. I mean, it's going to be nice to not have to pay rent for a little while, but it's weird that I have to go from living basically on my own to living under my Mom's roof with my siblings again.
It's really all because of my back, in the long run at least. Because if my back wasn't so horrible then I could have worked more and made more money... and if I had worked more then I might have had enough money to stay where I was for longer... But that's theater for you I guess. When you most need money, you have the hardest time getting it.
I'm going to be an ASM for Source Festival in DC this summer and i'm really excited, but my back has been killing me from all the moving.. I mean, it's not as bad as it was like a couple months ago, but think about having to move 6 truck loads of stuff including a queen sized bed, dresser, several other heavy items, and the ten million articles of clothing I own, with a constant ache and sometimes stabbing pain in your lower spine... It's wonderful. Absolutely delighting. But as it relates to Source, I'm afraid that if my back gets really bad again, I'm going to have to quit or something and lose a much needed paycheck. :/
My degree seems to be doing me no good so far... But I suppose anything is better than spending a summer without any work like I did last year... maybe
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Drama inception
The theater world never ceases to amaze me.
I got a text from my mother earlier, who is currently working on a community theater show, that she might be quitting the show, getting fired from it, or getting arrested for assault and potential battery charges. This was all due to one woman who had been absent from her position and suddenly came back and sprung into action, throwing everything that everyone else in the company had worked so hard to create in her absence.
Sometimes I wonder if people do things just to create drama or if they just like being nasty, havoc wreaking individuals.
On the bright side, I get to direct a wonderful roommate of mine's ten minute play for the Ten Minute Play Festival that we hold annually at school. I'm so excited :) not being behind the table has me pining to be sitting there again, despite the lack of free time and social life I have to begin with.
I got a text from my mother earlier, who is currently working on a community theater show, that she might be quitting the show, getting fired from it, or getting arrested for assault and potential battery charges. This was all due to one woman who had been absent from her position and suddenly came back and sprung into action, throwing everything that everyone else in the company had worked so hard to create in her absence.
Sometimes I wonder if people do things just to create drama or if they just like being nasty, havoc wreaking individuals.
On the bright side, I get to direct a wonderful roommate of mine's ten minute play for the Ten Minute Play Festival that we hold annually at school. I'm so excited :) not being behind the table has me pining to be sitting there again, despite the lack of free time and social life I have to begin with.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Stage Managing my life
So because I am completely incapable of not stage managing the world around me, I am planning my Mom's surprise birthday party. Now, because I like to teach people and I don't live at home anymore, I let my little sister figure out what day is best.
So we get everything all planned out, I make this pretty little e-card with all this marti-gras themed stuff since her birthday is on Ash Wednesday this year, and she wanted to actually GO to New Orleans, we figured it'd be a worthwhile endeavor. I go on her computer, sneak through her contacts and find the emails of the people on our guest list, and send the e-card on it's merry little interweb way.
So I'm getting all these RSVPs and all these emails, and thinking everything is fine and dandy and getting underway.
But Mom is a stage manager too - came to it later in life, but still an SM. And being this way, she has a giant calendar at home with everything that she's doing, that I'm doing, and that my brother and sister and any extended family have going on during any given month. That being said, my sister looked at the calendar and decided that a day when Mom is Stage Managing a show would be a GREAT day for a surprise party... While she's supposed to be calling a show.
Needless to say, I spent all last week trying to subtly figure out what day we could change it to without causing too much commotion. Boy that was fun. Not. It was worse than trying to schedule 17 actors for a scene, no joke. At least actors conflicts are all written down and easy to find, you don't have to carefully word each question so as not to give away the fact that you're planning a frickin surprise party for the woman you're talking to.
I finally figured out how I could change it and to when, then let my Sister deal with telling Mom's best friend and co-planner about the whole shenanigan.
So now all I have to do is gather decorations, finish mom's present, make two different cakes and pretend that nothing is happening.
So we get everything all planned out, I make this pretty little e-card with all this marti-gras themed stuff since her birthday is on Ash Wednesday this year, and she wanted to actually GO to New Orleans, we figured it'd be a worthwhile endeavor. I go on her computer, sneak through her contacts and find the emails of the people on our guest list, and send the e-card on it's merry little interweb way.
So I'm getting all these RSVPs and all these emails, and thinking everything is fine and dandy and getting underway.
But Mom is a stage manager too - came to it later in life, but still an SM. And being this way, she has a giant calendar at home with everything that she's doing, that I'm doing, and that my brother and sister and any extended family have going on during any given month. That being said, my sister looked at the calendar and decided that a day when Mom is Stage Managing a show would be a GREAT day for a surprise party... While she's supposed to be calling a show.
Needless to say, I spent all last week trying to subtly figure out what day we could change it to without causing too much commotion. Boy that was fun. Not. It was worse than trying to schedule 17 actors for a scene, no joke. At least actors conflicts are all written down and easy to find, you don't have to carefully word each question so as not to give away the fact that you're planning a frickin surprise party for the woman you're talking to.
I finally figured out how I could change it and to when, then let my Sister deal with telling Mom's best friend and co-planner about the whole shenanigan.
So now all I have to do is gather decorations, finish mom's present, make two different cakes and pretend that nothing is happening.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
SM Venting
When a Stage Manager meets someone outside of theater and they ask "What does a Stage Manager do?" they don't expect the answer that they get. "Well, I schedule 17 actors to be at certain places at certain times to run specific scenes and then take notes the whole time on what happens; while I simultaneously keep in mind that I have to sit through at least a four hour rehearsal every night during the week and usually during the weekend (so there goes my social life); while scheduling my 5-8 designers and my director to be at production meetings every week; schedule costume measurements and fittings for my 17 actors based of arbitrary times the costume designer gave to me; make sure the scenic shop, property collection, and costume creation process is going according to plan; and managing to eat, sleep, do my homework, go to class, and not go insane." The image of the look on their face makes me giggle just thinking about it.
I've had my tough shows that left me crying in the back hallway where my director can't find me and I've had my easy shows that no matter how many cues they throw at me, i've got my highlighter and my sticky-note-tabs to keep up and organized. My first show I ever Stage Managed at school though, was the toughest one I've ever been through. Despite swearing off Stage Managing and promising to myself I would never torture myself like that again, I realized I missed it, like more than chocolate and the sun and well, you get the gist. So I went back, and I realized that I was really good at what I did and that going through that first show was pretty much preparing me
Now imagine being an experienced Stage Manager, you've got a few shows under your belt, you know the lay of the land and how to do just what needs to be done, and you have to teach a little baby freshman all that you know in the span of about four weeks. Now keep in mind, you've had your fill of ASMs - good ones, bad ones, dumb ones, ones that were basically five year olds - and this one is one of the smartest ones you've ever had. They keep up with your tasks, they do what you tell them and understand why you do things the way you do just by observing, and when you pull something new out of your SM bag of tricks they take it in stride and learn from you.
Being a Stage Manager at college is tough, there aren't many students who know exactly what you do, or who are interested in learning to be an SM, and some who don't appreciate just what you have to do every day for your countless number of actors.
I have found that it's even harder to try and hand over a show to someone who, even though you trained them and you thought that they were ready to take on a show, is not as experienced as you are.
When I thought that that was the toughest thing ever, someone threw some liquid nails in and told you "hey, look over here" and you found yourself standing in a rehearsal and learning that your trainee is being taken advantage of because they're younger than everyone else involved in the process.
You know in Horton hears a Who, he says "A person's a person, no matter how small."? I feel like what people in academia need to realize is that an SM is your SM no matter how young, and if you take advantage of anything that your Stage Manager does - from the most simple and stupid things to the most complex lies and plans imaginable - you face being called out for biting the hand that feeds you. Especially if you know, for a fact, that your good friend was supposed to be the Stage Manager, but she had to step down due to conflicts and so she put her already trained ready-to-go former ASM in the spot instead; you should know that that good friend of yours will tell you how it's gonna be and that what's happening will be changing faster than a flip of a coin.
I think that the moral of this (very long) post is:
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltnjst4JIB1qhgljvo1_500.jpg
Thanks to Backstage Badger Visit them! http://fyeahbackstagebadger.tumblr.com/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)